What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

If my lovely sister sleeps with my boyfriend, what should I do about her?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Do you know what she said mum?

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About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What! how could you do that?

Do women like watching men sucking men?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

True - how I loved my mum!

Are you struggling with weight loss and finding it hard to stay consistent? What’s your biggest challenge when trying to lose weight at home?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”